Sometimes sorry seems to be the hardest word but how much time and energy could we save if we owned up and apologised more? What’s stopping us? This article builds a case for why it’s not only the right thing to do, it’s the best thing to do if you want to build a team strong enough to expand your business.
Is ego the bad guy?
When there’s friction in the boardroom and tensions are high, ego gets the blame. There’s a lot of stigma around the word ego – it brings up the notions of passive-aggressive behaviour and the narcissist in the room.
Is this helpful? We spoke to the author, speaker, leadership coach and ego expert Christie Garcia about the freedoms we unleash when we manage the ego within all of us.
It starts with knowing the three types of ego:
- Controller
- Complier
- Protector
We carry all three in constant ebb and flow states but one or two will be more dominant – to understand these better, check out our first interview with Christie here.
Five freedoms you’ll unleash
Take a look at these and think about the advantages for your team. How much time and energy could you buy back? How would you put them to good use?
- Freedom to be yourself. Inner peace comes when you’re as OK with your worst self as your best self. Everyone else sees both so pretending one side of you doesn’t exist won’t help. Give the voice on your shoulder the day off and see how it makes you feel.
- Freedom to express yourself. By understanding the lens through which you’re looking at the world, you’ll understand the gap between what you say and how it lands. A Controller, Compiler and Protector will have different motivations, fears and perspectives.
- Freedom from drama. You can’t change other people but you can change your approach. ‘We all want the same things’ Christie says, ‘we just use different words to describe what we want.’ In a boardroom, everyone wants to win but they all have a different idea of what success is.
- Freedom from wasting your time and energy. How much do we lose to justifying our behaviour or deflecting blame when we could stop and admit we messed up? We release so much stress and resentment – and we stop worrying about things that don’t matter.
- Freedom to say what needs to be said when it needs to be said. ‘We have leaders who don’t know how to share their wisdom’ Christie says. Exasperation when left to fester can lead to behaviours that affect everyone. Before you know it, you could be back in the boardroom to discuss the matter again when you could have resolved it the first time.
The first step
Like any transformational journey, it starts with awareness. Our ego states are not to be ignored or sidelined, they’re powerful signposts to where we need to be more mindful about our choices. They tell us how people want to be communicated with and what their priorities are.
So what’s the business case?
Start thinking of ego as a superpower but one that can derail a functioning team if it gets out of hand. Understanding and managing ego, what drives us and the underlying fears at play gives us the tools we need to create the psychological safety the best boardroom decisions are made of. By appreciating differences, we’re able to embrace the perspectives diversity brings and everyone gets to voice their valuable opinion.
How do you expand your business? By building a winning leadership team with trust and unity at its core. Ego management plays a huge role in this.
Want to know more?
Christie gives practical ego management tips and how to co-exist peacefully under stressful conditions in the Sparks by Ignium podcast. Listen to her conversation with host Phil Rose and how you can move towards more purposeful, meaningful communication.