You’re at the centre of your strategy for growth but if you’re not aware of what your subconscious is telling you 95% of the time, where is this autopilot taking you? Ego doesn’t always stand on a soap box, sometimes our quiet inner messages have just as much impact.
You and your team are at the centre of your strategy for growth but big decisions and difficult conversations are not always easy to handle. We can’t shy away from big steps so how do we take them in a way that makes the team stronger?
Understanding what you can’t see
The ego isn’t always standing on its soap box. We often think of it as being bold, brash and overbearing but sometimes it’s subtle. The impact it can have on our behaviours, habits and beliefs can be profound.
Like software running in the background, it can silently affect those around us.
So how can we be more intentional and mindful of our choices, actions and words? We share 4 key points from our second conversation with ego expert Christie Garcia.
- Awareness is the first step. ‘We’re not aware of what we’re doing 95% of the time’. Christie says. ‘We do what we do and hope for the best’. We may be relying on behavioural patterns that have kept us safe in the past but they’re not serving or protecting us now. They could be getting in the way of building good relationships or making healthy decisions.
- Compassionately acknowledge the impact that we’re having on others. ‘When our feelings are hurt, we can shut down or lash out’ Christie says. This isn’t great for the kind of leadership team cohesion that sits at the heart of a strategy for growth.
- It’s not always possible to have a positive impact – especially when there are difficult but important things to be said. When we learn to understand and manage the different facets of our ego, we can start to control how we show up.
- Call out what other people say in a non-judgmental way. Understand that others may be feeling trapped in one way of doing things. The flip side is that when we feel we have a choice, we feel empowered to do things differently.
The ego is there to get us to where we want to go but it may be causing us to push away the people or opportunities we need – without us knowing.
‘If you’re not ready to own your dark side, it’s because you’re scared of being vulnerable’, Christie says, ‘but you cannot be vulnerable without being courageous.’
So in facing our challenges, that’s when our best self shows up. We can’t control others or their responses to us – but we can be more intentional about what we do and say.
Want to know more?
What are we talking about when we say ego? Check out the Spark Tank for more on what the three types of ego are and how they interplay with each other. What’s your dominant ego type?
And tune into the second of our conversations with Christie Garcia here. We really hope you enjoy it.